Ego Zone

Last week, I drove an hour to a cybersecurity networking event.

And then got turned away at the door.

Why?

I wasn't currently employed by a cybersecurity company.

For a minute, I'll admit it: that one stung.

Not because I couldn't understand the criteria. I actually could.

But after spending the better part of the last decade working in cybersecurity, working alongside CEOs, building teams, scaling organizations, recruiting some incredibly talented people into this industry, and building relationships with people I genuinely respect and admire, it was a strange feeling to suddenly not quite fit the definition of who was "allowed" in the room.

And then I had to remind myself:

Don't let your ego turn a bump in the road into a blocker.

That has probably been one of the biggest lessons of this entrepreneurial journey so far.

When you're building something of your own, there isn't always a clear path.

Some days you're having incredible conversations.

Some days someone doesn't respond to your LinkedIn message.

Some days an opportunity doesn't work out.

Some days you drive an hour and get turned away at the door.

And if you're not careful, your ego starts filling in the blanks.

"They don't want me."

"Maybe I don't belong anymore."

"Maybe I'm not as connected as I thought I was."

"Maybe not being a part of my last company changed everything."

But here's what I've learned:

People are busy.

An unanswered message isn't a personal attack.

A "no" isn't necessarily a reflection of your value.

And one closed door doesn't mean you aren't welcome in the community.

Sometimes you just need to find a different door.

Enter Shally

Last week, I had the opportunity to spend some time with Shally Steckerl, the Godfather of Talent Sourcing, talking about sourcing tools, techniques, challenges and some of the bright spots I've been experiencing as I navigate this new entrepreneurial chapter.

Shally generously shared his time, knowledge and perspective with me.

He also introduced me to Supercarl.ai, which has been a really interesting tool to explore.

But what struck me most wasn't a particular tool or technique.

It was the generosity.

Shally is the founder of TSIUniversity.com, a community and curriculum he has built to help recruiting professionals truly learn how to find the right talent for the organizations they represent.

He's taking knowledge that could easily be guarded and is choosing to share it.

That matters.

Then came Rick

Through the frustration of the networking situation, I ended up connecting with Rick Doten, a former CISO, award-winning cybersecurity leader, and someone who has built a reputation as one of those people who seems to know everyone.

People who know Rick affectionately call him the "Cruise Director."

And I completely understand why.

Rick didn't dismiss my frustration with the networking situation. He understood it. He also helped me see the other side of why organizations sometimes put parameters around their events.

Then he did something far more helpful.

He gave me a list of local cybersecurity networking events and pointed me toward places where I could connect with the community.

He didn't just tell me about a closed door. He showed me where the other doors were.

And that got me thinking about what community really means.

There will always be gatekeepers.

There will always be criteria.

There will always be rooms you don't get into.

But there are also people who will pull up a chair.

People who will make an introduction.

People who will answer the message.

People who will share what they know.

People who will say, "Hey, you should meet this person."

Those are the relationships worth cultivating.

And then Friday happened

I ended my week by getting connected to a cybersecurity company that I'm genuinely excited about.

I joined the conversation with someone I'd never met before.

And one of the first things they said was:

"I've heard so much about you."

I smiled.

Because after spending a week feeling like I had somehow become a cybersecurity outsider, that one sentence reminded me:

Oh yeah. I still belong here.

Maybe that's the real lesson of the Ego Zone.

When you're building something new, you can't allow every rejection, unanswered message, awkward moment or unexpected detour to become a referendum on your worth.

You have to keep showing up.

Keep reaching out.

Keep cultivating relationships.

Keep helping people.

Keep learning.

Keep opening doors for other people, too.

Because your career isn't defined by the company name underneath your LinkedIn headline.

And your community isn't something you lose the moment you leave an organization.

Sometimes you just have to find your way back into the room.

And sometimes, if you're lucky, someone is standing at the door saying:

"Hey. We've been waiting for you."

If you are a person looking for an open door or a company who is waiting for the right talent to walk in, please reach out jenna@sweetlemonpeoplesolutions.com